I have been so busy posting about my own personal drama I forgot the intent for the blog. Moving my life to a place of simplicity, a place of peace and becoming as sustainable as I can. I realize this year that much of that has went by the wayside. Sustainability at least. I have put up less then 25 jars of food. Primarily I have done beets, pickles and beans. I think next weekend I may have a canning frenzy and put up 100 pounds of tomatos and sauce. Part of the reason I have put up less is having a smaller garden. I truly believe in eating seasonal and it doesn't make sense to purchase food to preserve when we live in a climate that produces year round. Part of the reason is that I have had a long slow easy summer and was too lazy to do much more then that. Least I recognize my laziness ha!

Yesterday we harvested the last of the corn and a patch of beans in the garden. I cleaned out a huge piece and will be replanting lettuce, spinach and onions there this weekend. I am a bit late to plant more flats of cabbage and broccoli so will grab some starts from the coop. So much for self sufficiency lol.

We are moving into my favorite time of year, fall. Some of that is really just due to harvest season and the excitement of canning, dehydrating, freezing, settling in for the winter. Primarily though it is the joy of cooking for my family. I love autumn dinners, big pot roasts, stews, hearty food after spending the days hiking in the woods. Love to watch the leaves change and feel the bite in the air. Jayme is 20 now and still gets so excited for Thanksgiving, she looks forward to the pumpkin rolls, the yams and turkey. She is like a four year old child on Christmas Eve.

When I begin to make plans to move away in a year, I wonder what it will be like to not have all of my children under my roof, all of them here for a big meal, to hear the sounds of them joking, teasing, remembering stories good and bad. I don't know that I am ready to give it up. Staying here seems impossible though. How do you move from being a mother, from your identity as a mom of many and begin to stretch into the realm of a woman on her own, without the buffer of your children's noises as a distraction?

Good or bad . . . I'm going to find out. I have everything to apply for a teaching position in Alaska, a few different options in Arkansas. Arizona is a possibility as well, if my dad moves down there. Somewhere. I will be . . . and my babies will be here. Katie will likely go to Washington for school, Jayme will stay here where she has her grandmother and friends. I will be with just my three youngest. Excited . . . but oh so unsure. I feel in my soul its right to go. I will go. I just don't know how . . .

BUT for tonight, I won't worry. I will have my kids and their boyfriends for dinner. I will just enjoy the simplicity of spaghetti and meatballs, of hearing them chatter, of feeling that all is well when all my chicks are under my roof at once. Maybe I will make a cheesecake and see Jayme smile. How many more times will I be able to do that?

Moving forward always comes with a price right?